Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Positive Daily Affirmations for Women

For today's woman, the right set of positive daily affirmations can affect every aspect of their lives. While women are capable of doing anything they want to in life, it is often necessary for a woman to give her own self-esteem a bit of a boost. That is why it is important for a woman to know the best way to create her positive daily affirmations to best suit her needs.

There are a few basic steps to use when deciding what a woman's affirmations should be. The first step in creating positive daily affirmations is for the woman to decide exactly what it is she wants as an end result. This is actually a simpler task than it appears to be. The easiest way to do this is for the woman to picture what she considers a successful woman. This success should reflect what the woman wants. For example, if the woman wants to be successful in business, she would envision a successful business woman. The same holds true if she wants to be successful in relationships, as a mother, or any other way she wants to be successful. She should then picture her role model and decide what it is that makes her successful. She will then be able to shape her positive daily affirmations around this plan.

The next thing to remember for the woman creating positive daily affirmations is that they should all follow 4 essential principles. They should always be in the first person, using the word "I". They should represent the present tense, often by using the word "am" instead of "will". Because they are positive in nature, the woman should avoid the use of negative words such as "can't", "won't", or "don't". Lastly, they should be action-driven. They should make use of the traits displayed by her role model. These principles can be illustrated by positive daily affirmations such as "I am a successful career woman" or "I easily strike up conversations with people of the opposite sex". They all make use of the principles here.

Positive Daily Affirmations for Women

Once the woman has her positive daily affirmations mapped out, and perhaps even written, it is important for the woman to decide when she is going to rehearse saying them. Some of the best results are achieved by repeating the affirmations twice daily. Once in the morning, in order to set the tone of the day and a second time in the evening so that the statements are set into the woman's subconscious to grow during sleep time. These are often considered the optimum times for chanting affirmations, as they allow the greatest saturation into the subconscious mind.

Today's woman is a woman on the go, who tries hard to be successful in all she does. By using positive daily affirmations, she helps assure herself that she will be as successful as she can be. The important thing to remember is that affirmations will only work for her if they are done in the best way possible. By following these simple tips, today's woman will assure herself that her positive daily affirmations will achieve the maximum results, and she will exude enough success and self-confidence that she may be a role model for the next generation of women.

Positive Daily Affirmations for Women
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Richard is a Master Practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Hypnosis, and Neurological Re-patterning™. He is also the co-founder of New You Life Coaching.
Because his interests stem from philosophy, spirituality, psychology, and leadership, Rich's coaching style incorporates a rare and ingenious approach to understanding and empowering you in an insanely effective manner.

http://RichardALuck.com
New You Life Coaching

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Monday, February 25, 2013

How To Create An Organized Filing System

Introduction

The test of a good filing system is being able to find something when you need it, regardless of how you choose to organize it. However, there are two basic approaches to setting up a filing system:

· Establish categories for like items by subject (e.g., Hobbies)

How To Create An Organized Filing System

· Establish an index based system with files identified numerically by item (e.g., File 1=Document 1)

You can choose the method that makes the most intuitive sense to you. People who have trouble categorizing may feel more comfortable with the indexing approach. Regardless of which type of system you choose, if you feel overwhelmed about where to start, pick a group of papers in any pile. It does not matter where you start.....you just need to start with a manageable subset of paper.

Active files are those which you must access regularly. Historic files are those that it is unlikely you will need to access, but which you must keep for record retention purposes (i.e., tax files). Your inactive files should not be kept in your active file space, if file cabinet space is limited. These files can be stored in boxes in an out of the way location (since you should not be accessing these files regularly). To create your active files, follow the steps outlined below.

Organizing By Category

Step 1 Sort & Discard

Review your papers and discard any papers you no longer need to keep. If you feel unsure about discarding an item, in order to make the decision easier, ask yourself what's the worst thing that could happen if you throw it away? It helps to put things in perspective.

When you decide to keep a paper, sort the paper into various categories/piles. Use post-it notes to label the top page of each pile until a permanent file location/category name is established later.

Use categories that are broad for sorting. For example, if you have lots of information on various leisure interests, you can create a hanging file called "Leisure" (vs. creating a hanging file for every type of leisure topic in your papers).

If you have a major hobby such as photography, for which you collect a lot of information, create a separate hanging folder named "Photography". This makes more sense (so that the "leisure" file won't become too unwieldy).

You can create multiple interior file folders that reside within the hanging file folder, each labeled with the category sub-topic. This makes it easier to search by sub-topic. For example, within the "Leisure" hanging file category you might have file folders for the sub-categories of Art, Music & Reading.

Step 2: Determine Quantity Files Needed

Once you are finished sorting, count and double check the number of "piles" you have to keep. The number of piles equals the number of hanging file folders you will need for your active files. You should buy a minimum of the same number of interior file folders to insert inside the hanging file folders (more if you will have some categories with multiple sub-topics).

Step 3: Identifying/Labeling the Files

Create a set of hanging file folders and associated interior file folder(s) for each pile and its sub-categories.

In order to maintain the transition from active to historic status at the end of each year, the interior files should be labeled by subject and current year (e.g., Life Insurance 2004). This dating approach is best for those categories that involve monthly statements or bills.

For your hanging folders that do contain dated material, it is best to keep static papers that don't change from year to year in front of the interior folders (e.g., the life insurance policy versus the quarterly invoices). This will make it easy to transition files from active to historical status at year end.

Step 4: Estimate file cabinet size

Once you put the appropriate papers in the files, you can get a sense of how many file cabinet drawers you will need. Using a single "Bankers Box" (heavy corrugated storage box) to stand the files up to measure the inches in depth needed is very helpful. These boxes are available at office supply stores, and also will serve later for inactive storage purposes).

The total number of depth inches you have equates to the number of file

drawers you will need in the file cabinet. Be sure to measure the depth of any file cabinet drawers you may be thinking of buying to ensure you'll have enough space (allowing at least 4 inches in each drawer's clearance for sliding & viewing files.

Maintaining the System Annually

At the end of the year, transfer the past year's interior files to inactive storage. Keep the same hanging file folder in place, and create a new set of interior file folders labeled with the New Year. Keep the "static materials inside the hanging file folders from the past year.

Suggested Category Headings

Index Based Organizing

Step 1: Discard & Pile

Review your papers and discard any papers you no longer need to keep. For the papers you need to keep, sort your papers into a single pile (no need to categorize).

Step 2: Create the File Index

For each one of these papers or related group of papers (if that relationship is very obvious to you), you will create a numerical file. You will then record File #1's contents in an excel log (or other computerized tool) that describes the contents of the file. For example, if I have a utility bill from March 2004, you would make the description "March 2004 Utility Bill". This file description will get assigned a random file number in a pre-identified location (i.e., File #1 in the office filing cabinet). Should you ever need to find this bill again, you would do an Edit/Find search in Excel and enter "March 2004 utility" to find it. The advantage of this approach is it does not rely on categorizing. When your May 2004 bill arrives, you can assign a totally unrelated file # to it.

You can create & record these indexes with Excel or Access by using their search capabilities. There is also a software program called "The Paper Tiger" from The Hemphill Productivity Institute that is designed for this purpose, and it adds some nice bells and whistles (like tracking files that have been pulled out but not put back). There is a free trial offer and tele-class if you are interested (information can be found at their website http://www.thepapertiger.com/.).

The major disadvantage of the indexing approach is that you must maintain many more files in your storage unit, as well as the data base to track them.

Other Filing Tips

· You should have "action" folders for bills to pay, things to do and pending matters. This serves as a holding place for things you have not had time to get to that week, but that still require action on your part. It is also helpful to have a calendar file to keep things needed for events already recorded in your calendar (e.g., directions to event, handouts, etc.)

· You can use color coded folders to visually identify subject categories

· You can alphabetize your file folders by hanging folder tab name, but if you use staggered file tabs, you'll have to redo the order every time you add or delete a subject.

· Pendaflex, a leading manufacturer recommends that files should be no more than ¾" thick. If you need a file with a greater thickness, you can use the "box bottom" hanging folders.

Copyright 2004 - The Organizing Wiz

How To Create An Organized Filing System
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As The Organizing Wiz, Ilene Drexler works with residential clients in New York City who want to get organized in their home or home offices. She is a member of the industry's leading resources for professional organizing:

· National Association of Professional Organizers

· National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization (NSGCD)

Ilene honed her organizing skills during 20 years working in corporate operations management for various Fortune 500 companies including Disney, Scholastic, Accenture, Random House and McGraw-Hill. Her work there was focused on redesigning & streamlining operational processes, as well as helping project teams to be more organized.

Ilene earned a certificate of study in Chronic Disorganization from the NSGCD, and has a B.S. in Business Administration. Her “How To” organizing articles have been published by

My Organized life.com Online Organizing.com Professional Organizers Webring Article City.com GO Articles.com OnlyHer.net

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Saturday, February 9, 2013

Beliefs of Naturals - Affirmations to Transform Your Core Beliefs to Seduce Any Woman

This is my personal seduction affirmation list. It's mostly to help me be successful with women but also has a lot to do with having self-esteem, confidence and a healthy psychological state of being. Feel free to use it and share it with others. It took me a long time to build this list and I have found it extremely helpful. Using these affirmations has forever changed my life and I'm sure it will change yours too!

Everything in your life has to do with your psychological state of being. You are your thoughts and your thoughts are you. Change your mind and you change the world. Your external reality is nothing more than a reflection of your internal reality. Do not look out there, look within. Work on your inner self and inner world first then everything else will change for the better.

Perception is Reality. How you perceive the exterior world determines what your experience of it will be. These affirmations may seem outrageous because they are. The human mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and imagined. Believe in these affirmations absolutely and completely as the FACT of gravity just as religious junkies believe in irrational fairy tales. The crazy thing about humans, if you believe that the moon is made out of cheese, that is your reality. To observe the incredible power of thoughts and beliefs just observe the followers of religions, it consumes their entire reality. You do not need to purchase a DVD and book called "the secret" that is promoted on the Oprah show, the evidence is all around us. Except for nature, everything around us was once a thought inside someone's head. We are surrounded by manifested thoughts. You have to believe that something is possible before it can ever be possible. If you ever hear the voice "I can't" in your head, that is a limiting belief. Reframe the thought with "I can". Most of the universe is empty space, your external reality is just puddle of water reflecting your your inner reality.

Beliefs of Naturals - Affirmations to Transform Your Core Beliefs to Seduce Any Woman

Repetition is the language of the subconscious mind. When the conscious and subconscious mind agree on something anything is possible!

Beliefs of Naturals - My Reality

Read 3 times before bed and in the morning(do it for a for month) Record in the second person. Play recording on a loop continuously at a low volume(whisper). Play recording during the day and at night while sleeping.

1. Being with me is the best possible choice for any woman.

2. Women love men and especially love me.

3. I love life! I am one with the universe.

4. I am God. I am Perfect. This is my Universe!

5. I am fearless, courageous and bold!

6. I read pages at a time incredibly fast with complete comprehension! I read ten books a day.

7. Women love sex and want sex from me.

8. My intelligence, creativity and potential is infinite!

9. I am exceptionally social and outgoing.

10. I am completely focused, organised and use my time with the utmost efficiency.

11. Women are nurtures and pleaser's who want to nurture and please me.

12. I am an infinitely self-assured, confident, sexual and dominant male.

13. Everyday in every way I am better and better!!!

14. I have complete control over my life, mind and psychological state of being.

15. I am the greatest genius this world has ever seen.

16. I heal instantly!

17. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I exude infinite sex, power, confidence, happiness and self-love all the time.

18. I can be, do and have anything I want to in this world, my possibilities are endless!!!

19. I love myself! I am complete, fulfilled and completely happy!!!

20. I am growing more beautiful and luminous day by day.

21. Everybody loves me and all women want me! I make friends easily.

22. I access all the knowledge in the universe. I am the fastest reader in the world.

23. I am completely irresistible to women!

24. Regardless of how she is reacting to me she is getting aroused.

25. I see the underlying truth in all things.

26. I am an adventurer! I travel the world!

27. Regardless of how she is reacting to me I am the prize she is trying to win over!

28. I am a multi-millionaire and master seducer!

29. I love what I do and am richly rewarded, creatively and financially.

30. I have a perfect photographic memory! I recall everything easily.

31. Since she wants to have sex with me, the power is in my court to decide whether she lives up to my standards and expectations. I get to decide if we have sex.

32. I create my own reality!

33. Today I love my body fully, deeply and joyfully.

34. Today I open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me.

35. Prosperity surrounds me, prosperity fills me, prosperity flows to me and through me.

36. I have sex with super hot, confident, loving, caring and intelligent women with genius IQ's all the time!

37. I think positively every day, all the time.

38. I attract amazing people.

39. My body is now trained to burn fat and build muscle day by day.

40. I have a six pack of abdominal muscles.

41. I am filled with the light of love, peace, happiness, power, success and joy every day, all the time.

42. I am aggressive, direct and powerful with the women I desire. I radiate a confidence, self-control and charm that women find irresistibly attractive.

43. My mind is focused on what I desire and I go for it congruently and powerfully.

44. I take immediate advantage of my opportunities with women. I swiftly establish incredible rapport, gather the information I need, then close with aggression, power and finesse.

45. I radiate a natural, easy self-acceptance that women find irresistibly attractive.

46. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, behaviours, insights and timing that bring me irresistible power with the women I desire.

47. I am now approaching women that I am attracted to.

48. I am able to pick up and attract any women I desire.

49. I am a strong, powerful, aggressive, dominant, alpha male, leader and conqueror!!!

50. I am smooth, charming, interesting and fascinating!!!

51. I have a perfectly sculptured muscle ripped body.

52. I am super hot and sexy, all women want me!

53. Abundance is my natural state of being!

54. Money comes to me easily and continuously from multiple sources!

55. My IQ and intelligence increases daily rapidly!!!

56. I have clear beautiful skin!

57. All things are now working together for good in my life.

58. I rule the world! I am brilliant and perfect in every possible way!

59. I succeed in everything I do!

60. I have sex with one thousand super hot women!

61. I am now enjoying everything I do and feel happy just being alive.

62. Sex with super hot women comes to me easily and effortlessly.

63. I have the infinite creative power of God within me.

64. I am a Bad Boy, Player, Natural and Ladies Man!

65. I am a Sexy Beast! Everywhere I go women want to fuck me!

66. I have sex with supermodels daily.

67. Supermodels have an incredible desire to $#&% me wherever I go!

68. I attract whatever I desire.

69. I am the most desirable man in the world. I am God's gift to women.

70. Supermodels and incredibly hot women proactively, persistently and aggressively seek me out to $#&% me.

71. Beautiful women are extremely persistent with me for sex.

72. What I believe is reality. Women experience me as extremely intoxicating, exciting and addictive.

73. I am a catch and out of her league, any woman that's with me is very fortunate to have my attention.

74. Beautiful women are extremely attracted to me on a deeply subconscious level.

75. Women are perverted creatures who are always trying to $#&% me.

76. Every morning I wake up in bed with twenty supermodels.

77. I can $#&% any girl I want in any situation.

Attitude of the The Prize

You got to be a bit self-centered, a jerk and an asshole. The difference between nice guys and Alpha males: Nice guys place a woman on a pedestal, Alpha males place themselves on a pedestal. There are no secrets or mysteries, life is all around us. Just be Alpha and dominant. Chicks dig 50 Cent not Steve Urkel. Alpha males love themselves more than they ever could any woman on this planet. Always remember that you are more important than any woman on this planet regardless of how physically attractive she may be. You have high value and she has very low value. You are the Prize she is trying to win over. Perceive the world the same way Brad Pitt does, every high valued quality woman wants you but they're just not good enough. Every woman on the planet wants you so why settle for the first thing that comes along? Women are disposable and replaceable. The illusion that one woman differs from another is called love.

Always remember, she already wants you and wants to come home with you. Your attitude to a woman should always be: "You are infatuated with me.", "You are chasing after me.", "You are dying to $#&% me." She's the one chasing after you.

When I became self-centered, that's how I got good with women. Always talk down to hot women!

Behave around hot women and talk to them as though they have very low value. Perceive her as a fat ugly chick. Talk to her and carry yourself around her the same way you would to a fat ugly chick. You are a catch, she should be trying to win over your approval!

Women are like dogs, the the less you care about them the more they love you. Just an honest observation. Face reality! Stop pissing in the wind.

Attitude to women:

"I am a catch and out of your league."

"You are of complete insignificance to me."

" I can do better."

Attitude to the world:

"I don't need your $#&%ing approval."

"I don't need anyone to like me."

Think in Space-Time, this is a bit abstract. Think of future events(that you desire and have chosen to occur) as already happened using the past tense form of language in your mind. Example, when meeting a girl, the voice in your mind should be:

"We have $#&%ed a thousand times before."

You KNOW this has already happened in 4 dimensional Space-Time(the future). True belief is knowingness. KNOW your future, it has already happened. KNOW your reality. KNOW that you are one with the universe. KNOW that your thoughts are reality.

"I am God. I am the creator of my reality".

Know that there are only ever two steps to follow to figure out anything in life.

1. Ask yourself "What works?"

2. Become that!

Short Daily Mirror Affirmation List

Repeat out aloud in front of the mirror 3 times every morning and at night before you go to bed. Try it for two months or more.

1. I am a Sexy Beast! Everywhere I go women want to $#&% me.

2. Women are extremely persistent with me for sex.

3. I am infinitely in love with myself.

4. I am infinitely confident, powerful and happy.

5. Everybody loves me and all women want me.

6. I am a catch and out of her league.

7. My intelligence, creativity and potential is infinite.

8. I am God. I am brilliant and perfect in every possible way.

9. I can $#&% any girl in any situation.

10. I don't want anything from anyone, ever.

11. I am unattached to all possible outcomes.

12. I have infinite sexual abundance.

Beliefs of Naturals - Affirmations to Transform Your Core Beliefs to Seduce Any Woman
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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

"Who Am I, What Do I Want?" 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself - A Preparation to Self-Improvement

I honestly don't know how some people cope with some of the absolutely, horrifying and terrible things that happen, however, most of us are dealt with stuff that we can get over.

Now I don't want to be harsh by saying "Get over it!" - But "Get over it!".

Don't stop reading now! I do care and that's why I'm writing this article.

"Who Am I, What Do I Want?" 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself - A Preparation to Self-Improvement

I know how hard it is to "Get over it!" But, on the road to Confidence and Self Improvement that's exactly what we need to learn to do.

You're here because you want to be a better person - right? You want inner peace and joy - right? You want others to love and like you - right? Then I have to tell you that the Road to Happiness starts from within. There's no magic pill, or product you can buy.

The great thing is that it only takes a little effort, a lot of introspection and the right tips and techniques to help transform you into that Confident, happy person you only dreamed you could be.

When we truly look into some of our everyday heartaches, pains and problems and we are truly honest with ourselves, wouldn't you say that what you have been through is fixable. Something you CAN and SHOULD get over. Especially if you want to have fabulous self esteem!

Now having said all that this leads to is the million dollar question - "How do I get over it?"

Well, don't worry, it's a lot easier than you think.

The very first thing you need to do is to "Be kind to yourself"! YOU are the most important person in the world. This is about YOU. Not me, not your co-worker, not your relative, not your partner - YOU! You really do need to love yourself first. But, how do you do that?

You know, the reason why I can write this article is because I've been where you are right now. So, I can tell you once I started being kind to myself I started to realise that I really didn't like myself at all. What a turning point. The more you look inside, the more you'll find. This is called introspection.

I'd like to talk to you more about this in a future article, but for now let's continue.

Below are 10 fundamental questions that I'd like you to ask yourself. Once you've asked yourself these questions decide if you want to continue with your self improvement program. Decide if you want to find more Confidence. Decide if you want to find inner happiness. Please answer each question honestly - knowing there is a way to achieve all you desire:-

1. Who am I?

You are a uniquely beautiful individual. Born into this life just the same as everyone else, the queen, the President of the USA, your Mother, Father, Co-worker, etc. You are just as important to this earth as they are. You are loved. You are valued. You are worthy. Even if you don't believe these last 3 yourself, believe that there are others who think you are. It could be your boss, your relative, your friend or even a stranger. I'm not a religious person but I do know that I am loved by God and that gives me comfort and strength in itself.

Be nice to yourself!

2. Am I happy at where I am today?

Everyone of us can find something in life that we are truly unfulfilled in. Some more than others. The point is we are all in the pursuit of happiness. Whether that be in a job, family, shopping, travel, etc. I mean isn't that what life is about - enjoying it. The truth is we can have all our hearts desires, travel, career, family, etc; and still feel unhappy. We need to find that inner happiness for true fulfillment.

3. What do I really want?

The question of all ages. We often find ourselves saying "I wish I could do that". "I wish I could earn more money". "I wish I could..............". Truly ask yourself the question "What do I really want". If you honestly believe you want more friends, then join a club. Too shy, make it an internet club. The key is to start taking baby steps. Once you start the ball will keep rolling. Then when you look back in 6 months time you'll be amazed at the improvement you've made to your life.

4. Should I really change?

Absolutely! Every human being on this planet should change to a certain degree. Even the person you most admire has something about themselves that they should change. None of us are perfect!

Remember, these questions are about you. My guess is that if you are reading this and searching for higher confidence and a better self esteem then you know yourself that you have parts of you that you want to change.

5. How much do I want to change?

You might say you would be just happy to be able to stop being depressed, or to be able to speak to people at social events with more confidence. The wonderful thing about Confidence building is that once you start, the ball just keeps on rolling. Happiness and inner joy breeds more happiness and inner joy. The more inner happiness, the more you trust yourself, the more you trust yourself and fear less the more confidence you have to speak to people. Start the ball rolling - you'll be amazed at how far you go.

6. What motivates me?

What motivates YOU? Again, we are all individuals. You may be searching for Confidence because you want to find a partner, but are too shy to go out. Or you want to progress your career. There are so many things that can make everyone happy - this is YOUR journey. You decide. Once you have decided write it down on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere where you can read it every day. Constantly reminding you of what you want to achieve.

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

Even though I can not see you, I can still honestly say that if you are presenting yourself as a well groomed, confident individual you WILL be appealing to the opposite sex! Not all people. It's horses for courses. However, you will attract what you radiate. If you radiate shy, lacking in confidence, the message you are sending out to others is not to talk to you. Once you start gaining that confidence you so desire you will radiate. A smile, a hello, a friendly, confident person who is easy to talk with. People will start coming to you - Watch!

Indulge yourself in a modern haircut, start wearing a little make up, buy some new clothes. Ignore that little voice that tells you are not attractive. Tell yourself you are attractive, aim to be attractive by making these changes and you will evolve like a butterfly from a cocoon.

8. Am I happy in my career?

If you struggle to get to work on Monday's or any other day for that matter, have a good long look at your daily job. Ask yourself what job you would like if you could have any job in the world and earn money from it.

If it's not currently what you are employed to do look at doing some training in that field to get expertise. Or just plain get into what that desire is.

9. How do I see myself in 10 years time?

Do you have a vision of what kind of person you see yourself as in 10 years time. Does that vision match the person you are today? Or is that vision of a better person, a more successful person, a more confident person? Is there someone you know that you envy because they appear to have what you don't have? Guess what? You can have everything that person has? We are all born with the same opportunities in life. Some attain them more easily - Granted! But, that doesn't mean to say that we can't have them just as they do. Start to emulate them. Learn from them.

What do all the successful people you know have in common? Confidence and belief in themselves! They believed they could have what they have so they have it! You too can have it! You just need to believe in yourself.

What I'm saying here about "believing in yourself" is a book in itself. I so want to help you with the subject of "Believing in yourself". But, forgive me, I haven't written an article on that one yet. But, I will, I promise. And I hope you read it.

10. Where do I go from here?

So? Where do I go from here? You could do nothing and continue living with your frustrations and limitations. Or you could start an incredible journey into self!

Remember, I said this is about YOU! That wonderful, untapped, fabulous YOU! That powerfully, positive, glowing person inside just waiting to burst free and claim all the happiness that life has to offer.

OK, OK, I seem a little carried away. But, that's because I know of that happiness and how to get it.

But, truly even if you only have mediocre dreams, that's OK too, because once you start your journey - the ball will keep rolling.

To take no action at all - well that's not an option? Until we truly look inside we will never find true happiness.

Conclusion

Do you see where I'm going with this?

These 10 questions are designed to get you thinking. To help you realise that there is so much that can be gained by changing who we are and how we see ourselves.

This article merely touches on the area of self improvement and confidence building, but, as I mentioned before, with just a little effort, a lot of introspection and the right tips and techniques you CAN learn the secrets of how transform yourself into that Confident, happy person you only dreamed you could be.

I hope this article excites and encourages you to continue your journey to a fabulous self esteem.

"Who Am I, What Do I Want?" 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself - A Preparation to Self-Improvement
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Friday, January 25, 2013

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - The Approaches and Techniques Used by Therapists

There are a number of cognitive behavioural techniques used in by professional therapists. These approaches are chosen to suit the needs and issues of the client.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: an overview

Cognitive behavioural therapy is an approach that looks at both behavioural therapy and cognitive therapy. It looks at why people think and behave the way they do and then provides them knowledge and choice.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - The Approaches and Techniques Used by Therapists

In simple terms, (C) cognition is the way we perceive and think, (B) behaviour is the way we react and behave and (T) therapy or change is the method for changing the perception and behaviour.

Common CBT techniques include:

Exploring a client's irrational thoughts and replacing them with rational healthy ones Stopping unhelpful irrational thoughts altogether Gradual exposure to situations and social skills training Assertiveness training

Cognitive behavioural therapy is often the main model and approach for therapists dealing with the following issues with their clients:

Anxiety and panic attacks Depression Eating disorders, predominately bulimia nervosa Phobias

The above areas and issues respond well to CBT as it is widely accepted that perception is the key to lasting change and unnatural or irrational perceptions are the root of these conditions occurring.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)

Developed by Albert Ellis in the 1950s, rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) is a form of cognitive behavioural therapy. It is a psychotherapy approach that focuses on resolving emotional and behavioural problems and disturbances.

REBT assumes that individuals are hedonistic in that they strive to remain alive and achieve happiness. It also assumes that individuals are also prone to irrational beliefs, thoughts and behaviours that then affect them achieving their wants and goals.

The core belief is that individuals are disturbed by things, but not by the views that we take of them. This means that it is how we feel about something that bothers us, not the "something" itself. Therefore, if the individual can reframe the event, then it is an entirely different emotional effect.

Ellis believes that a client needs to change their belief system in order to deal with and manage an emotional issue or problem. He created the ABC model: this looks at a disputing belief system that questions and challenges the existing belief system.

A - activating event
B - the belief system
C - the consequence, cognitive, emotional or behavioural reaction

For example:

A - person is asked to have a one to one with their boss without any prior warning
B - person is afraid of the manager and person with power, as they believe they are nasty and unfair
C - person panics and acts out of character and behaves irrationally

If the boss is actually a threatening individual who regularly reprimands staff then this consequence could be appropriate. However, if the boss is actually very fair and agreeable then the system has malfunctioned and a faulty belief exists.

The main error is usually generalisation. For example, in this case people such as managers in power are all intimidating and unreasonable. This means that the fault is often the mind over-grouping on the basis on one category.

You can then introduce D - the disputed belief system. This allows choices and reflection in the mind to occur. The disputed belief system will usually take the initial form of questions. So:

D - is my manager actually unfair. Am I perhaps scared because I have had a bed experience with a manager in the past that bullied me?

Cognitive restructuring therapy (CRT)

Cognitive restructuring therapy (CRT) was developed by Aaron Beck in the 1960s. Like Ellis, Beck believed that irrational beliefs were the cause of a problem.

The key philosophy of CRT is that an individual's emotional response to an event or experience is determined by the conscious meaning placed on it. This means that the interpretation of what we perceive is the key to our personal outcome. So, if we see, hear or notice something, then we try and gain an understanding of that thing we have noticed. This means we place a meaning or an interpretation on that thing.

Beck believed that faulty and irrational beliefs spread in a specific manner. He believed that these beliefs could spread threefold and form a triad representative of the entire belief system. The three areas are:

The self The world The future

The self represents how the individual feels about himself or herself. This includes self-esteem, feelings of self-worth and self-image. The world is then the way the individual interacts with the rest of their experiences. So this is when the individual applies their feelings of self to the rest of the world around them. The individual then applies their belief to the future. This means if they have feelings of inadequacies or other such issues, then they portray this into the image of their future.

Beck suggested that these three areas of the triad had negative effects and worsened each other as each one undermines the next in a vicious circle.

For example: an individual may feel they are not good at anything they do. They may think that as they are not perfect at everything, then they are not good at anything. This is their self-belief. They will then believe that world thinks that are not worth or any good at anything. They will portray this image onto the world around them. They will fear their future and believe that nothing will change.

Beck addresses this negative triad by developing adaptive metacognition. This is the process of teaching clients how to think about their feelings. This process teaches clients to notice when their thoughts are distorted and irrational and therefore monitor their negative automatic thoughts and make conscious choices rather than allowing their inappropriate thoughts to dominate.

Cognitive restructuring therapy has developed two major goals as it has matured. These include:

The client learns to spot negative and inappropriate thinking whenever possible. The client will then monitor this and make the choice to substitute this thinking with more realistic and appropriate interpretations of the situation When the pattern or stimulus is too powerful, the client will monitor the impulses and accept their presence but not give in to them. For example, the client suffering from sever depression will accept that they are depressed and that they have little control over that, but will choose to cope the best they can and not give into despair

The first point is most usual, as for many clients their issues are psychological in cause and therefore changes can be made.

The second point is about managing the condition rather that curing it. Monitoring, awareness and self-management are all useful approaches to help the client suffer less.

For both categories, the key point is for the client to learn to identify and alter their negative beliefs that lead to distortion. The therapist will help the client spot his or her own thought patterns. The realisation of this patterns empowers the client to monitor and self-manage their response and behaviour.

There are a number of confronting approaches used in CRT as a practical technique. Some of these include:

Specific Realism of outcome Context

Attributional therapy

Attribution therapy is a recent development in cognitive behavioural therapy and considers the meaning we place on things, specifically what meaning or relevance the individual attributes to an event or situation.

For example: the client experiences a situation when their think they have failed. As a result of this they assume that they are useless in everything they do and that their failure must have happened because of a specific fault, like they are not intelligent enough. Therefore they link the event and situation to their intelligence.

These individuals will also explain success and personal achievement as a fluke or luck, or suggest that the task was so easy anyone could achieve it. This means they continue to reinforce their key belief that they have now formed that they are not intelligent enough.

There are two classic tools used in attributional therapy. These include:

Hand out and log sheets for clients to fill in with their thoughts. This allows them to log the patterns and analyse them Personal journals and diaries for the client to record their thoughts and related subjects. Again this allows the client to analyse and recognise certain patterns.

The self-instructing training (SIT) model

Within the self-instructing training (SIT) model, inoculation works by the client building up immunity to the old stresses and negative reactions and instead applying and favouring new behaviours.

The client will practice using change techniques such as self-hypnosis and visualisation to help them become comfortable changing their old belief into their new positive belief. This will be done in steps to ensure that the client's confidence increases, with each step becoming more and more challenging.

As a client succeeds at each of this stage, then their confidence will increase and their progress will accelerate.

The SIT model is important to our understanding of what techniques are naturally used by CBT therapists as it sets the precedent that change techniques are a natural and appropriate part of a CBT therapist's practice. These change techniques and models include self-hypnosis, visualisation and affirmations.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - The Approaches and Techniques Used by Therapists
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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

How to Pray Effectively - Seven Steps to Answered Prayers

There is power in prayer; it has no boundaries or borders, but many of us aren't sure how to get started or what to say. Prayer is simply having a conversation with God. This sounds intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. Having the right ingredients or elements in your prayers are much more important than whether they sound fancy or elegant. In fact, you can talk to God just like you would talk to a parent or best friend. So forget about how you say it, and focus on what you want and need to say.

The Bible talks about "petitioning" God in prayer - this means to earnestly plea or implore. To "present your requests" to God is simply to tell Him specifically what you need. Praying about each worry or need in your life shuts out worry because it invites God to be involved in every area of your life, and when He is engaged in each aspect of your life, there is nothing to fear.

Here are seven steps that can help you pray more effectively and deepen the relationship you have with your Lord:

How to Pray Effectively - Seven Steps to Answered Prayers

1. Acknowledge your personal relationship with God as His child. Recognize that God is holy and powerful and give Him the reverence that He deserves. Having a loving relationship with God is like that between a parent and child.

2. Acknowledge your respect for who God is. Commit your life to God each day, promising to live according to His will. Praise God during prayer and throughout your day, becoming absorbed in Him.

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you." - John 15:7

3. Confess your sins. It is so important to ask God to forgive your sins and ask Him to continue to love and care for you. Repentance is a sign of your understanding that you have - like all of us have - broken God's commands, and are sorry for what you have done. By acknowledging that our sins have separated us temporarily from God, we are once again brought closer to Him.

4. Ask God in prayer. Many of us feel guilty if we ask God for anything, fearing that we aren't worthy and that we are being demanding, or that we might anger God. It is just the opposite - by asking God, we are acknowledging that we can't do it alone; we are recognizing our need for His divine intervention and showing that we trust in Him to help us. Nothing could make God happier!

5. Be Specific. Prayers can be quite general, asking for blessings from the Lord, but it is okay to be specific, too. When we ask the Lord to help us find a better job, resolve a problem with our spouse or anything else that is personal to us, we are opening our innermost hearts to Him. This personal, private kind of prayer asking for specific help tells God that we have faith in Him to watch over us in small ways as well as big ones. He wants to be the Lord of our lives in all things large and small, so it is fine to pray to find a way to get a new dryer if yours breaks down!

6. Have an attitude of Expectancy and Faith. Trust that God can answer any prayer. Have faith that god will hear you when you pray according to His will. Do not pray in fear or out of desperation because "nothing else has worked." Pray confidently, with the faith that God will fulfill your expectations in the best way possible for you, born out of His divine wisdom.

"Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it." - Mark 11:24

7. Pray in Jesus' name. When we pray in Jesus' name, we enter into a relationship with Jesus Christ, God's own son. We are able to take full advantage of Jesus' death on the cross as a payment for our sins by acknowledging His sacrifice in our prayers. It also ties us to the new life of Christ's resurrection. The secret of our Christian life is also the secret of praying - doing all in Jesus' name.

"Whatever you ask in my name, that I will do." - John 14:13

Every prayer is important. Every prayer counts. Our prayers exalts Him for who He is. There is power in prayer. In His presence is where we will find our greatest blessings.

How to Pray Effectively - Seven Steps to Answered Prayers
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Robert Moment is an innovative forward-thinking Christian business and marketing coach, speaker, and author of newly published book, God Will Always Be There For You. Robert is passionate about empowering individuals on how to experience God's love , power, joy , peace and prosperity. Visit http://www.ChristianInspirational.org and sign-up for the FREE Christian Living e-course.

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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Mind Tricks - Six Easy Ones

Many mind tricks are more than just tricks. They are creative techniques for tapping into the power of your mind. They entertain, but they also have more practical uses. A good example is the "pupil trick."

Look in the mirror and watch your eyes as you vividly imagine something pleasurable. It can be a beautiful scene, your favorite naked body, or anything else that will create desire in you. You'll notice your pupils getting larger almost immediately. If you practice a bit, you can make your pupils instantly larger at will.

Pupils enlarge when you are aroused, interested and receptive. When you are with someone and your pupils dilate, the person you are talking to subconsciously senses your interest in them or what they are saying, and they like that. This makes it easier for them to like you, and to listen to what you suggest. You don't have to be a salesman to take advantage of this. Once you learn to control your pupil size, why not try this subliminal mind trick?

Mind Tricks - Six Easy Ones

A Mental Math Trick

As a young boy in school, I didn't "show my work" in math class. In my figuring, 97 x 16 became 100 x 16 (1600) minus 3 x 16 (48). It was easier that way, and almost automatic, so I would just write down 1552 even though I couldn't explain very well how I arrived at the answer. For my teachers this was a problem, but many years later such math shortcuts were sold in seminars and books. You might want to learn a few of your own.

A Memory Trick

Suppose you need to remember the following list: Soap, milk, honey, fork, and flowers. Just start a vivid story in your imagination, adding items to it as you go: At the sink, reach for the SOAP, and find the soap dish full of MILK. Wash your hands with that, and then comb HONEY into your hair with a FORK. Finally, pick up a bouquet of FLOWERS and smile at the mirror. Repeat each item while mentally reviewing your "movie," and you'll remember all five things, even the next day.

Mind Tricks For Motivation

To get yourself motivated, talk about your plans. This is a simple, yet powerful mind trick. By the time I tell my wife about the newsletter I'm going to write, I'm out of my slump and back at the keyboard. You can quickly change your state of mind, but not by willing it to change. That would be like trying to ride a bicycle without pedaling. There is a mechanical aspect to the mind that can't be ignored. That is what these techniques tap into.

To help a friend out of a bad mood, get them to talk. More specifically, get your friend to explain something to you that they are passionate about. The process literally will change the chemicals in their brain, and so change their state of mind. When you find the topics that work best, remember them for future use.

A Reading Trick

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

A subscriber to my Brainpower Newsletter sent me that one. A more useful speed-reading "trick," is to read just the first and last sentences of paragraphs. That's where the most useful information usually is, as in the last sentence of this paragraph: Mind power comes from practice, not desire, so why not try these mind tricks?

Mind Tricks - Six Easy Ones
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Steve Gillman has been studying brainpower and related topics for years. For more on How To Increase Brain Power, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com.

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